No one could have known while en route to the Paris Event Center the horror that lay ahead. Well, actually, anyone with any sense of time, space, and traffic could have guessed that the commute between Jacquemus' 7:00 p.m. show in the 19th arrondissement and Saint Laurent's 8:00 p.m. show in the 7th was going to be tricky. I mean maybe, maybe if Jacquemus commenced promptly at 7 (which, to be fair, the invitation insisted it would, but this is Paris, and you have a better chance of seeing god than of a show starting in a punctual manner), editors could have made it. But that was not the case—it began over 30 minutes late—thus top journalists, stylists, and even a few editors-in-chief missed Saint Laurent's sparkly extravaganza.
The fact that Saint Laurent was due to kick off 5.2 miles away a mere 15 minutes after Jacquemus' finale wrapped was frustrating. But admittedly, the whole scene was amusing. As the last model strode down the designer's impossibly long, pink runway, front-rowers could be seen sliding to the edge of their seats, ready to run. Those without drivers were ordering their Ubers, and the frenetic toe-tapping was figuratively deafening.
So you can imagine how pee-your-pants funny (or infuriating, depending on your outlook) it was that the finale was in literal slow motion. It was, perhaps, the longest finale I have ever witnessed in my career (save Gucci's 119-look Fall 2017 closing lap, but that wasn't due to lack of speed). It was like something out of the hysterical, fashion-fueled 1994 film Prêt-à-Porter. If the entire audience wasn’t having a silent conniption, the finale’s glacial pace might have been poignant—even refreshing, as it forced you to really look at the clothes. But given the circumstances, it was pure comedy.
Equally comical (or infuriating, depending on your outlook)? Watching the industry's top brass huddle together in the pouring rain, straining to see the last crystal-covered Saint Laurent looks walk through Anthony Vaccarello’s smoke-filled space. The only saving grace (and possibly the reason they couldn’t hold the show any longer) was that Saint Laurent consisted of a whopping 106 looks, making the romp so long that editors could catch the tail end.
I must say, Simon Porte Jacquemus’ outing was quite strong (you can read our review here) but it had a whiff of Yeezy Season 4 to it, seeing as it didn’t start remotely on time, and editors were expected to spend about two full hours commuting there and back. Next season, some better planning—or, at the very least, a more considerate choice of location—is in order.